Love Grows Where my Erik Goes
by Daroga's Rainy Daae
Summary: The Phantom version of Shallow Hal... Christine is shoved down a dumbwaiter by a group of magical mice and now she sees people by the amount of inner beauty they have. E/C later on.. :) CH.9 up!
1. The Dumbwaiter

Christine was striding down a sunny street in Paris on a nice crisp day, her only thought was of her boyfriend; Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny. Ooh, he was a handsome hunk o'something, and she was MADLY in love with him.  
  
"I wonder," Christine wondered to herself as she passed a happy couple on her way to her boyfriend's house, "how Raoul came to be so handsome? And also how," she wondered again, "I came across such a perfect guy?"  
  
As she pondered thoughtfully about all of this, she continued to walk easily to Raoul's house. She knew the way quite well now, and even though she was lost in her thinking, she habitually took the route she always took... across the park. Although, as well as she knew the way, she had no way of memorizing the way people were walking, and she suddenly crashed headlong into a passerby.  
  
"Excuse me," Christine said kindly, but when she looked to the person she had run into, she scowled and was overcome with a sense of grotesqueness at the wanderer. "Ew!" She cried, "Wash your hair, buddy! And clip some of those overhanging nose hairs, that's absolutely disgusting!" She shoved haughtily past the unkempt man and stuck up her nose the whole way 'til her boyfriend's house.  
  
Christine rapped on the sturdy wooden door of Raoul's abode, rocking back and forth to keep from becoming bored.  
  
The door opened with a heavy thud, and there bore the cheery pretty boy. "Hallo Christine!" He said, opening his arms for a hug. Christine gave him one and smiled. "Would you like to come in?" Raoul offered.  
  
"Very much," Christine replied softly. Raoul led her into the kitchen where there was tea set up for them. A servant helped Christine into her chair.  
  
"I'm so glad we could get together this fine afternoon," Raoul said calmly. "I'd really like to sit and chat for a while, wouldn't you?" Christine nodded, sipping her tea. "You know, just yesterday I found a shop that made the most wonderful bouquets, flowers are really pretty, aren't they? I mean - I'm sure most people adore flowers, you just can't help it, they're much too beautiful.. come to think of it, they remind me of you..." Raoul continued to blabber like this for well over twenty minutes before Christine finally stopped him because she had begun to nod off to sleep with her cup still in her hand.  
  
"Raoul, dear, where is the bathroom? I must insist on using it," Christine said.  
  
"Up the stairs, first door you see on the right," Raoul directed, pointing towards the staircase.  
  
"Thank you," Christine said, wiping her mouth with the tip of her napkin and standing abruptly. As she jumped up the stairs, a couple of mice watched her...  
  
"George, what dirt do we have on this fellowess?" One mouse peeped to his buddy mouse, George. Both watched from the railing, wearing high-tech binocular gadety thingos.  
  
"Well, Benny," George replied humbly in a strong English accent, "She really is a rotten one. Human, I mean. They're all rotten if you ask me, but this one is especially. She's so blinded by outward appearance that she doesn't realize that her boyfriend's a dip and that the man she scowled earlier at was really a hoaky, psycho, belly dancer... actually, I'm really glad she DIDN'T ever find that out... that wasn't a very good example... I'm going to shut up now."  
  
Benny bopped his friend on the head with a fuzzy little paw and said, "Yes, that would be nice."  
  
"Let's go tell Piper we found new bait," George suggested, and they bounded off without being noticed by Christine, who finally made it to the top of the long staircase.  
  
"First door on the right..." Christine muttered, walking right past it. "Ooh... Raoul's bedroom..." she snuck quietly into her boyfriend's room, snooping around to see what he had in there.  
  
Piper was under the bed, and quickly, George and Benny told him Christine's dirt.  
  
"Lunacy!" Piper squealed in horror, "This girl is a spoiled little brat! A snob! I could go ON!" George and Benny both grabbed Piper by a paw to calm him down.  
  
"It's okay, you know the plan. We've done this hundreds of times before, if not, maybe twenty.. or maybe just TWENT... ah well, forget it, we're going to positions," Benny said, nodding his head and inconspicuously scurrying towards the dumbwaiter with George behind Christine's back.  
  
"Hmm.." Christine said, studying a picture on Raoul's wall. "That nude girl looks miraculously like me..." she bent over to take a closer look, but one hard shove from Piper and she was down in the dumbwaiter.  
  
"Ahhhhh!!" Christine shouted all the way down to the kitchen before getting the wind knocked out of her. "Oof!" She huffed before passing out.  
  
Twelve and a half minutes later, Christine awoke in the middle of the dumbwaiter's shaft, and sitting on the cramped little shelf. "Help!" She yelled, but Raoul was asleep by now, so it was of no use.  
  
"Hello," George squeaked from the wall in front of Christine.  
  
"Aiiiiiieeeekkkk!" Christine shouted in panic, "A mouse talked! It just talked!"  
  
George sighed. "Yes, IT just talked.. now-"  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!" Christine batted at George, knotting his fur.  
  
"Would you stop screaming?" George cried, wiping his fur back to it's normal position. "I'm here to help you."  
  
"Huh?" Christine put her hands in her lap. "Why do I need help?"  
  
"You're a blinded idiot," George said simply.  
  
"Yes," Benny shouted down from the top of the shaft, "a blinded idiot!"  
  
"Hey!" Christine protested.  
  
"Hay is for horses, fellowess," George answered calmly. "The point is, you can only see people for their outward appearance. I can help you to see the inner beauty of humans."  
  
"You can?" Christine asked meekly.  
  
"Well... not ME personally... but Piper can," George muttered.  
  
"Is Piper the one on the top of the shaft?" Christine asked.  
  
"Naw, Piper's the one that pushed you into the dumbwaiter."  
  
"Argh! So I was pushed!" Christine shouted.  
  
"Yes, yes, but that's not the point," George said exasperated.  
  
"Not the point!" Benny echoed, "So George old friend, what IS the point then?"  
  
"You know as well as I you stupid git!" George cried in a moment of frustration, banging his paws on the wall.  
  
"What is it?" Christine asked anxiously.  
  
"You don't want to know," George answered devilishly.  
  
"Hey, Piper, that's your cue," Benny informed the unseen mouse.  
  
"What? Cue? What's going on!?" Christine demanded, struggling to move the dumbwaiter. "Why won't this thing move?"  
  
"It will only MOVE when we WANT it to move," George said slyly.  
  
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Christine huffed.  
  
"I... dunno," George said even more mysteriously.  
  
Another mouse poked his head into Christine's view. "Hi," he said, "I'm Piper."  
  
"I'm Christine," the girl replied.  
  
"Count to three," Piper demanded.  
  
"Why?" Christine asked.  
  
"Just count to three, dammit, you're ruining my entrance!" Piper growled maniacally.  
  
"All right, all right," Christine said quickly. "One... two... three!"  
  
"Jeronimo!" Piper yelled, jumping down the shaft.  
  
"Eek!" Christine cried as the mouse landed on her. And the last thing she remembered was Piper biting into her shoulder. Then everything went black.  
  
  
  
A/N: Fuuuun first chapter! Should I continue this? Please tell me in a review! :) 


	2. A Change of Fate

Christine awoke suddenly, not in a dumbwaiter, but in the comfort of her own house.  
  
"I think," she said to herself, hopping out of bed in her silk pajamas, "that the mice were all just a dream. Because I am certain that mice cannot talk, and that if I really were stuck in a dumbwaiter, Raoul would come to my assistance."  
  
Christine put on her best dress, ate a nice breakfast, and headed out the door to Raoul's house. "For," she said again to herself, "if it indeed was a dream I had, I have not visited Raoul yet this week."  
  
She briskly stepped out the door, pausing momentarily to breathe in the sweet morning air. "What a wonderful day this will be!" She stated, commencing to stride down the street in her usual manner. But she thought today she would take another route to Raoul's house... just for fun. Christine turned left instead of right, towards the park, and soon, the Opera Garnier came into view.  
  
It was a huge building in the center of Paris, and Christine always loved to watch the operas there. She would often think about trying out to be a singer there, because her father used to teach her, and she could sing very well.  
  
"Just one look," she said to herself (yet again), "and then I'll continue to Raoul's."  
  
Christine was about to pull open one of the many doors of the opera house, when a noise above struck her attention. She snapped her head up to see what had made the noise, but all she saw was a black thing in the corner of her eye, and when she turned her head to get the object into her full vision, it moved to the corner of her eye again. Where she shook her head, the thing was gone.  
  
"That's odd," Christine muttered to herself. She took her hand away from the door handle.  
  
"Oh no," George whispered to Benny, who were both hiding in a bush, spying on Christine. "We've disrupted the balance!"  
  
"Hmm..?" Benny turned his eyes towards George. "What do you mean?"  
  
"We've altered what was supposed to happen! Gah! She was SUPPOSED to open the door so she could audition to be a singer, then get the job and live happily ever after! NOW that we have messed with her head, she's not going to open the door!"  
  
"Shhh.. watch," Benny rasped.  
  
Christine turned around and laughed. "Well, maybe not today, and maybe never... perhaps - someday I'll be able to practice my singing with someone..." and she walked off down the road.  
  
"Ahhhh!" George cried, running around in circles, "We've disrupted the balance! Now she may never work at the Opera Garnier! Oh no... oh wait... OH YES!" George's eyes went bright.  
  
"Yes? Oh yes, what?" Benny asked excitedly.  
  
"She may NEVER work at the Opera Garnier!" George answered.  
  
"So...?" Benny opened his paws for George to continue.  
  
"SO she will meet Erik a DIFFERENT way."  
  
"But you said she'll never work at the opera house! How will she meet Erik, then?" Benny wondered.  
  
"Because, it's fate! Their paths must meet at one point or another. But THIS time, there may be a chance that she'll stay with Erik because the general outcome will be different!"  
  
"Hurrah!" Benny shouted, running around in circles with George, "Different outcomes!"  
  
"Eeeeeekkkk!! MIIIIICCCCEEEE!!!"  
  
"RUN!" George shouted as he and Benny scampered out of the bush just in time before Andre (who was to go out on his walk), squashed them flat.  
  
Christine whistled as she neared Raoul's house, knocking on his door. "Raoul, dear, are you home?" She called. Finally, a man answered the door. But it wasn't Raoul... it was a freaky looking guy with buck teeth and rolling eyes, who drooled a bit, too. "Excuse me, is Raoul home?" Christine asked.  
  
"Yeah, uh... he's right here," the man drawled.  
  
"Like... where?" Christine asked exasperated.  
  
"Like, right here!" The man said with effort. "I'm Raoul! Bleh, bleh, bleh."  
  
"What the-..!?" Christine shouted. "Now, give me the REAL Raoul, you stupid impostor!"  
  
"Oh, okay," the man drooled, stepping out of the way to show the REAL Raoul.  
  
"Pete! You stupid liar! Quit trying to be me," Raoul ordered coldly.  
  
"Yes sir," Pete replied, slouching up the stairs.  
  
Raoul rolled his eyes. "Pete," he whispered to Christine, "my newest butler. He thinks he's all that because he's a genius. The only reason he never got a job was because he was a school drop out or something like that. I don't entirely trust him, but hey... it's business."  
  
"He's a genius?" Christine lifted an eyebrow. "He looked a little retarded to me."  
  
"Are you kidding?" Raoul asked, laughing. "You don't have to put him down because he was a bit rude, you know as well as I that most girls would fall for someone like him."  
  
Christine took another gander at the slouching, drooling guy, hobbling up the stairs and stared at Raoul with a funny look on her face. "You're such a joker," she teased. "May I come in?"  
  
"Sure," Raoul said, showing Christine in.  
  
It was the usual thing; tea and biscuits, and talking. Before the sun set, Raoul finally let Christine go.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want a ride home?" Raoul asked his girlfriend as they stepped out the door.  
  
"I'm quite fine alone, thank you," Christine assured him, kissing him goodnight. "Good-bye, my handsome prince. Tomorrow, we shall see each other again!"  
  
"I'll come over next time," Raoul offered, "around noon."  
  
"All right," Christine agreed, and she left down the road. She walked for about ten minutes before it began to grow dark and a bit chilly. She wrapped herself in her arms and continued, wishing she had accepted Raoul's offer of driving her home.  
  
Christine looked up at the sky, faintly dotted with stars, when she ran into something. "Oof!" She cried, crashing into the dark figure against the black background of night. She stumbled back and blinked for a moment, she and the figure were stunned. Suddenly, Christine huffed. "You're mad to go walking around at night in black, you'll get hit by a horse!"  
  
"Excuse me," the figure answered coldly, "but you have no business to what I wear at night, and I would like for you to watch where you're walking next time."  
  
"Me? YOU, buster," Christine replied hotly, daring to go on although she was thinking this man could be a thief or madman or something of that sort.  
  
"You don't want to get in my way!" The man retorted icily, making Christine wish she hadn't continued.  
  
"Fine, I won't then," Christine muttered, pushing past the man. As she did, she caught a glimpse of his face, which was covered by a black mask. "Criminal," she whispered to herself, turned away from the man, "This man is going to rob somebody." Christine cleared her throat. "You, what are you doing wearing that mask!" She demanded. But when she whipped around, he was already fifty feet away, not hearing her.  
  
"Odd..." she thought. "If he IS indeed about to rob somebody, I should follow him..." Christine ran along stealthily behind the man, who walked on for some time before coming to the giant Opera Garnier.  
  
The girl remembered the dark figure she saw in the corner of her eye just that afternoon. "I should tell somebody that there's a man intent on robbing this place," she said to herself, "Or the least I know is that he's up to no good."  
  
There was a rustling in the trees behind her that made her jump. "But," she added quickly, "I will inform somebody in the morning!" And she turned around and walked home.  
  
  
  
A/N: Ech, the third chapter will be better. :) 


	3. Meet Andre and Firmin: The Bumbling Gayw...

"Ahhhhh!!!! Firmin! Come quick!" There was a shrill cry from Andre as he opened the office door to find a note on his desk. Firmin came running.  
  
"What is it?" He asked hurriedly.  
  
"A letter! Do you think... it's from O.G.!?" Andre wondered in fright.  
  
"Don't be stupid, you paranoid idiot!" Firmin whispered harshly, "If it was from O.G., it would SAY so... on the front. This one is blank."  
  
"Oh yes," Andre mumbled.  
  
"Well...? What are you doing, standing there like that! Open it!" Firmin ordered.  
  
Andre reluctantly ripped the note open and studied it for a moment before reading it to him partner. "There's a lady by the name of Christine Daae that wants to see us, she says it's important and mentions something about... danger... she says she's coming to talk with us at ten o' clock..." Andre looked at the clock, it was five minutes 'til. "I think she'll be arriving soon, Firmin, dear."  
  
Firmin licked his lips. "Ooh, you know I like it when you call me that.."  
  
"Firmin, dear," Andre cooed.  
  
"Oh, this is so disgusting!" Benny whispered from a potted plant in the back of the room.  
  
"Shut up, you'll give us away," George muttered under his breath. Suddenly, there was a knock at the office door. "That must be Christine!" George told Benny. They both watched.  
  
"Who is it?" Andre called from inside.  
  
"Christine Daae, sirs.. I must speak with you," the voice on the other side said. The door was opened for her, and she peered in the room at a man and a rather homely looking woman. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought the managers were men," Christine remarked, eyeing the woman.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Firmin asked, giving a weird glance to Andre. "We ARE both men."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Christine cried, putting a hand over her mouth. "It's just.. you look a bit feminine..." Christine pointed at the scruffy, but plainly male-looking Andre. They exchanged another funny glance.  
  
"All...RIGHT then.. um, ahem.." Firmin smiled stupidly and sat down at his desk. "You come to us... why?"  
  
"Oh, right," Christine said, waving her hand. "I thought I just had to mention to you that I bumped into a man last night all in black with a mask, and he came into this building looking suspicious... and I thought, well maybe you could get your security to be on more careful guard or something, because he looked like he was going to screw something up - are you two okay?" Christine looked from one white face to the other.  
  
"F-fine," Firmin stammered.  
  
"You mean to say... you've actually SEEN this man?" Andre asked. Firmin shoved him in the ribs.  
  
"If it's not O.G., you better shut your trap," Firmin muttered under his breath. But Christine heard him.  
  
"O.G.?" Christine wondered.  
  
"Uh... Office, um.. um.." Andre searched for a word.  
  
"Office Gourd," Firmin said quickly, nervously. "Eheh - can't have too many of those, now can we? Gourds are neat, have you ever decorated a place with gourds?"  
  
"I, uh... can't say I have," Christine said slowly. "But what does a gourd have to do with a suspicious man in black?"  
  
There was silence.  
  
"PRIVATE MEETING!" Firmin roared, shoving Christine out of the room. "Wait for us - there's a bench right to your left, please hold," he said hurriedly before slamming the door in her face.  
  
"O...kay..." Christine murmured on the other side of the door. She tried to get a look inside, but the windows were shaded. She tried to listen by pressing her ear to the door, but it was soundproof. "Soundproof..." Christine said, shaking her head faintly. She decided to wait on the bench like she was supposed to, but twenty minutes later, she was still waiting.  
  
"Maybe," she said to herself, "I'll sing a song while I wait." So she did.  
  
"Is this the part where they meet? Is this the part where Erik hears Christine for the first time?" Benny asked George quickly from atop a chandelier in the entrance hall.  
  
"Yes, yes! Now shut up, the time is very soon!" George answered hastily.  
  
"We need to get down for a closer look at this!" Benny said, climbing up the chandelier cord, scampering across the ceiling and shimmying down the wall. George tried to follow, but one loose claw on the ceiling bit almost did him in.  
  
"Ahhhhh!" George screamed all the way down. He landed softly into Christine's lap.  
  
"Eeekkkk! A MOUUUUUSE!" Christine bellowed, picking George up by the tail and flinging him into oblivion through an open door.  
  
"Oh no!" Benny cried, running in circles in his new hiding place of a huge tape measure, "George ruined it!"  
  
"Ahhhhh!!!!!" Carlotta screamed as a mouse flew into her dressing room. She ran out with a towel around her nude body down a corridor and out of sight.  
  
"Phew," Benny sniggered, "Erik should have liked that."  
  
"Don't be afraid, child, if I ask for your name," a voice said slowly and magically from out of nowhere, after Christine got over the shock of seeing the waddling bath towel covered diva.  
  
"Who said that?" Christine said quickly, turning around for the voice seemed to come from behind her.  
  
"Don't move, girl, don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. Just sit still and tell me your name," the voice replied.  
  
"My name.. is Christine," she said obediently yet curiously, double taking plenty of times to try and catch the mysterious voice.  
  
"I am Erik," the voice replied soothingly. Something about his voice reminded her of someone...  
  
"You have a very lovely voice, and may I also say, very lovely aim," Erik said, thinking about the mouse in Carlotta's room.  
  
"Bingo!" Benny crowed, springing high into the air.  
  
"Thank you," Christine whispered uneasily.  
  
"It's all right," Erik said softly, "If you just leaned back a bit, I could make all your dreams come true."  
  
"Dreams, feh," Christine answered hotly, "You're tying to tell me that if I just leaned back-" she leaned back mockingly, "-all my dreams will come true. Hey, I dunno what you're trying to pull, buddy, but-"  
  
She was interrupted as a trap door opened and she was flung into a black abyss, and she knew no more for the time being...  
  
  
  
A/N: Thank you all for reading! If you haven't read my updated bio yet, I must tell you that I may not be able to upload the next chapters very soon, because of all the school work I'll be doing.. (first day of school was today). So I'm sorry, but I'll try to work in whatever I can around homework. Thank you! ENJOY :) 


	4. Erik and Christine's lil' Thingy

Christine sat up in a bed, dazedly, apparently not on the bench outside the managers office anymore.  
  
"Oww.." she whined, rubbing her bruised forehead. It seemed she had hit herself when she was being dragged through the trapdoor. "Where am I?" She asked herself, peering around a strange room. It was covered in silks and decorated with all kinds of expensive little things. "Whoever this room belongs to," Christine muttered, smirking, "they've got some class."  
  
Suddenly, she remembered how she got there; the man - Erik - who had kidnapped her through the wall. "I hope he's not too dangerous..." she thought, puzzled and a bit frightfully.  
  
"Crikey, he's not!" Benny hooted from a fold in a curtain.  
  
"Ssh!" George hushed him.  
  
"Hmm.." Christine got out of the fancy bed and opened the bedroom door to go and explore some more, and maybe find out who this Erik was, and why exactly he took her against her will. She looked down a small hall that lead to only two other rooms, and she could hear noise in the furthest one, so she took off to go and investigate.  
  
When Christine creaked open the door to where the strange man sat inside, she noticed that he was sitting at an organ and scribbling down what appeared to be music notes. He was so absorbed in his music, that he didn't even notice Christine come through the door and stand against the wall silently.  
  
Maybe, she thought, I can sneak up on him, perhaps see if he has any firearms on him, if he's dangerous or whatever... be careful, Christine, this man could be quite mad.  
  
She took one step forward. Good. All was still well. She took another step. And another. This process of slow steps every few seconds worked very well indeed, until she came right up to the weird guy. By now, she noticed he was wearing a mask. She gasped; this was the man she had met on the street! The man in the cloak and black mask!  
  
In a moment of haughty fury not suited for someone like her, she grabbed the mask from the man's face, and only then did he turn his attention to her.  
  
"No-" he started, but stopped as the odd girl didn't scream or run away in horror.  
  
Christine looked at the mask in her hand, stared at Erik for a moment, then made a face. "What the hell are you playing at?" Christine shot coldly, "What's with the mask?" She tossed it back to him, but instead of catching it like Christine thought he would, the mask bounced off Erik's chest and fell to the floor.  
  
"Hello..?" Erik stared at Christine, widening his eyes. She stared back.  
  
"Yeah, I'm talking to you, buddy," Christine said, waving her hand in front of his face.  
  
"Look at me," Erik ordered in confusion.  
  
"Why?" Christine snorted, "Pretty boy ain't gettin' enough lovin'? Are you trying to seduce me!? Well it won't work!" Christine turned around and stuck up her nose.  
  
It was pretty frustrating for Erik to take this all in. What the heck was she talking about? Pretty boy? Who could mistake HIM for a pretty boy?  
  
"Mademoiselle," Erik said slowly, "aren't you afraid?"  
  
Christine turned huffily around and stared Erik up and down. "What'd you say your name was again? Erik?" She took a harder look at him. "Afraid of what? I see you have no weapon on you."  
  
"What?" Erik asked exasperated.  
  
"You're acting very weird..." Christine muttered. Yep, he's mad all right, she thought.  
  
"Me? You!" Erik answered dazedly, "You're not afraid of me!?"  
  
"Why SHOULD I be?" Christine huffed, "Are you going to try and get me to do something nasty?"  
  
"My face..?" Erik trailed off.  
  
Christine snorted. "Just because you're an attractive devil, doesn't mean I'm going to like you! Why would I be scared of your face? Is it too CUTE for people like ME!? Huh? Is THAT what it is? Not. Gonna. Work." Christine stomped her foot in finality.  
  
"Are you mocking me!?" Erik shouted.  
  
"Yeah! Duh!" Christine shouted back.  
  
"Stop that!" Erik cried, but he lowered his voice after a deep breath. "You seriously don't notice anything different about my face?"  
  
"Are you going to try and seduce me!?" Christine shouted back offensively.  
  
"No," Erik answered truthfully.  
  
"Okay then, step into the light," she demanded. He did so. She snorted. "Too bad your attitude doesn't match your visage, cause you'd be an angel if that were true," Christine answered shortly.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Erik asked.  
  
"In my opinion," Christine said with a wave of her hand, "you're much too cute to be a bad guy."  
  
"Bad guy!? What did I do that was bad guy-ish! You couldn't possibly know anything about O.G.!"  
  
"O.G.?" Christine repeated. "The managers said something about an O.G..."  
  
"Opera Ghost? Get it? I'm the Phantom of the Opera, where have YOU been?" Erik wondered.  
  
"You're the guy I met on the street," Christine said, ignoring his question, "You were plotting to rob this opera house!"  
  
Erik sighed. "No, I wasn't! I LIVE here. I live down in the cellars of the Opera Garnier and I write my music away from the rest of the world."  
  
"So THAT'S where we are?" Christine asked, "The cellars? Why the HELL do you live down here?"  
  
Erik gave her another strange look. "Because people shun me.."  
  
"Why?" Christine asked with a snort, "Trying to be MYSTERIOUS?"  
  
Erik tried to explain, but gave up. "Well-... sure."  
  
"Cool, I like mysterious guys," Christine said casually.  
  
"You do?"  
  
"That doesn't mean I like YOU, though, bad guy!" Christine said quickly.  
  
"I'm NOT a bad guy!" Erik objected, "I only take money from the managers because that's the only way I can survive by being down here. Every time else, I'm a GREAT guy."  
  
"Who do you bring down here?" Christine snapped.  
  
"Nobody else."  
  
"Do you ever get lonely?" She asked a bit more kindly.  
  
"Yes, a lot."  
  
"Why did you bring ME down here?"  
  
"Because I liked your voice."  
  
Christine stared at Erik faintly. "You've got a strange way of getting people's attention."  
  
"Sorry about that," Erik answered.  
  
There was a long, suffering pause. Erik still wondered why Christine couldn't see his face, and Christine still thought he was a seducer.  
  
"You really liked my voice?" Christine asked.  
  
"Yes," Erik answered. "Although, if you'd like, I could teach you to become even better."  
  
"YOU can sing? No doubt. You look like it," Christine remarked. There it was again - that odd comment...  
  
"Do you think I'm ugly?" Erik asked quickly, burning with embarrassment the instant the words came out.  
  
"Anything holy! Why would I think THAT!?" Christine shouted a little too loud. Erik just stared at her.  
  
"Are you blind?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Are you telling the truth?"  
  
"Of course! Now quit basking in your cuteness, I'm not buying the innocence. I know, I know - they say girls like the guys who don't think they're cute but really are, but that kind of thing just doesn't work for me!" Christine huffed.  
  
"You really need to work on keeping your temper down, child," Erik said.  
  
"Sorry," Christine replied, "I'm just a bit fussy now and I just want to know where I am, and if I can leave sometime, and maybe you could sing for me if... you know... you really CAN sing."  
  
"Would you like to hear?" Erik asked.  
  
"If you promise you won't hurt me," Christine bargained.  
  
Erik smirked. "It's a deal."  
  
  
  
A/N: YAY! I liked that one. But there wasn't too much humor stuff in it. Ah well. more humor in the next chapter. (Oh, and don't be bothered by the modern slang I make them use, I just think it gives them an extra humorous touch). ENJOY! :) 


	5. The Magical Mice Moment

Raoul strolled up to Christine's doorstep with a box of cookies and tea bags, knocking briskly and standing aside for her to open up. He glanced down at his watch; exactly twelve noon. He was right on time. But nobody answered the door.  
  
"Christine!" Raoul cooed with such sap that he could make maple trees jealous.  
  
The door opened and there stood Benny in the way. Raoul didn't see him.  
  
"What the-!?" Raoul peeked inside. There was nobody there who could have opened that door! "Hello?"  
  
"Yes?" Benny asked, annoyed. Raoul looked down in fright.  
  
"But - but you're a mouse!" He shouted, turning white, "Mice can't talk!"  
  
Benny sighed. "Why do I keep being told that? Understand.. I am a MAGICAL mouse. Only MAGICAL mice can talk. Get it? I. Can. Talk."  
  
"Oh, okay," Raoul said happily. "Is Christine home?"  
  
"No, she's gone at the moment, can I take a message?" Benny looked up at Raoul hopefully.  
  
"Uh, sure..." Raoul said.  
  
"But first," Benny interrupted. "Would you mind picking me up first? It strains my neck to stand here looking up at your towering figure, and it's not a very nice view from here, I can tell you that."  
  
"Okay," Raoul replied, stooping and putting his hands out so Benny could run into them. he stood back up again.  
  
"Oh, and by the way, your fly's unzipped," Benny said. Raoul fumbled to pull up the little bugger.  
  
"Right, then, I'd like to leave the message that - hey... hey wait a minute!" Raoul cried.  
  
"What is it NOW?" Benny asked, tapping his foot.  
  
"What are you doing at her house!? In fact.." he blinked a few times. "There are NO SUCH THING as magical mice!"  
  
"I'm at her house because I'm was supposed to answer the door when you knocked! And YES there ARE such thing as magical mice!" Benny yelled, bouncing up and down.  
  
"PROVE it!" Raoul shouted back.  
  
Benny waved. "Hello! I AM a magical mouse!!!"  
  
"Okay! Fine!" Raoul huffed. Benny took a deep, loud breath.  
  
"Can you do me a favor?" Benny asked politely.  
  
"Anything," Raoul answered bravely.  
  
"Will you... scratch me behind my ears? I'd... really like that..." Benny looked at Raoul hopefully.  
  
"Sure," Raoul replied happily, doing as Benny asked.  
  
"Ha! Sucker!" Benny shouted, leaping out of Raoul's hand, and in a puff of smoke, he transformed from a mouse into an exact replica of Raoul.  
  
"Wait - how did THAT happen?" The real Raoul asked.  
  
"When a mouse is scratched behind the ears by a person, he turns into them for twenty four hours!" Benny explained.  
  
"They do not!" Raoul said.  
  
"Ah, but MAGICAL mice DO," Benny answered devilishly. "Sorry to leave so soon," Benny said, pushing past Raoul and out the door, "I have to cause some havoc down at Erik's place."  
  
"What? Havoc! But people will think it was ME causing havoc!" Raoul objected.  
  
"Exactly!" Benny cried, taking off down the road.  
  
"Come back here!" Raoul roared, chasing Benny across the street.  
  
Meanwhile... back at the Opera Garnier...  
  
"Mademoiselle Daae, we are ready for you again.. please enter for some questioning," Firmin said from inside his office. When nothing happened, he peeked out the door. "Mademoiselle Daae?" There was nobody on the bench. He scratched his head and shrugged his shoulders.  
  
George stumbled out of Carlotta's dressing room, who had been temporarily blinded at the sight of the diva, (you know, mice have sensitive senses), and was bruised from being thrown. But at that exact moment, Firmin spotted him.  
  
"Rats!" Firmin hissed under his breath, "NOT in an opera house!" He commenced to squish George with the heel of his shoe, but the little mouse spoke first.  
  
"I am NOT a rat! See the tail?" George turned around to show Firmin.  
  
"What in blue blazes are you, foul demon! Evil spirit, be gone!" Firmin shouted in horror, kicking out at George, but luckily, the mouse dodged the man's foot.  
  
"I'm not a demon-" George started, but Firmin interrupted.  
  
"Yes you are! You are possessed by the devil himself! Ahhhh! AHHHH!!!" Firmin kicked out again, but George dodged this as well.  
  
"Would you shut up? I'm not a demon!" George cried, "I'm just a magical mouse! That.. can grant you wishes!"  
  
Firmin's ears perked up. "Wishes? Really?"  
  
George sighed. "Uh.. right. If you pick me up and pat my head twice, you can make a wish and it will come true."  
  
"Cool!" Firmin scooped George up quickly, patting him roughly on the head twice, but before he could make a wish, George sprung from Firmin's hand.  
  
"Dork!" George yelled in triumph. In a puff of smoke, he had wings. "Can't catch a FLYING mouse, now, can you? Ha HA!" George zipped around the room a couple of times in rejoice.  
  
Firmin shook his head and rubbed his eyes. The mouse was still there. "You! How did you do that!?"  
  
"If you pat a magical mouse on the head twice, he grows wings for twenty four hours! Thank you - you made my journey SO much easier!" George flew up to Firmin, shook his finger with a paw, and zoomed off.  
  
Firmin watched in awe as the little mouse fluttered into a beam of sunlight, became even MORE temporarily blinded, and crashed into a statue of an angel.  
  
"It's a miracle.." Firmin whispered excitedly. "It's a MIR-A-CLE!"  
  
"Right.." George muttered, passing through a trapdoor in the statue. Firmin rubbed his eyes again and lifted his hands to the heavens.  
  
"A MIIIIIRACLE!" Firmin bellowed as the beam of light passed over him.  
  
"Is everything okay out there?" Andre wondered from inside the office, stepping out the door curiously. "Firmin, what do you THINK you are DOING?"  
  
Firmin rushed up to Andre. "The mouse.. he was a sign from heaven! I've been chosen.." Firmin whispered with passion.  
  
"I think - you need to lie down," Andre muttered, shoving Firmin away from him.  
  
"But- the mouse.." Firmin spluttered.  
  
Andre rolled his eyes. "You're nuts."  
  
"Dear, dear Andre," Firmin said knowingly, shaking his head at the man, "If only you knew... but you weren't chosen. Of course you wouldn't know..."  
  
"I think you need bed rest," Andre grumbled.  
  
"I think you need to shut up," Firmin shot, "Do you dare speak of a miracle so lightly?"  
  
"A mouse was a miracle?" Andre said, his voice unenthusiastic.  
  
"A FLYING mouse!" Firmin answered quickly.  
  
Andre rushed into the office, coming out with six bottles of wine in his arms, and chucking them all out the window. "There," he said, wiping his hands, "I think we've had enough of those."  
  
"But.. I'm telling the truth! And that window wasn't even open!" Firmin said coldly.  
  
"Sure you are," Andre sighed. "Sure you are."  
  
  
  
A/N: And that was chapter five! Good ol' chapter six is next! ENJOY! :) 


	6. Benny Makes Raoul Look Worse

"Erik?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Christine entered Erik's room, softly closing the door behind her. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Thinking," he replied simply.  
  
"You said you'd practice singing with me tonight," Christine reminded him teasingly.  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
Christine glanced around the room. "So you're finally letting me in your 'secret' room, eh? Jeesh, it's as if you're hiding something. Why haven't you let me look at this room until now?"  
  
"I didn't think you wanted to," Erik said, "And... I didn't think you'd like what you saw."  
  
"What do you mean?" Christine wondered, finally catching a glance of Erik's coffin. She gasped in shock. "What do you have THIS thing for!? EW! Isn't that for putting dead bodies in? Where's your REAL bed?"  
  
"That IS my real bed," Erik said haughtily.  
  
"You're KIDDING," Christine gasped again.  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Well, you know what I think? I think you need to get yourself a real bed," Christine said in conclusion.  
  
"I don't need-"  
  
"Yes you DO!" Christine interrupted Erik, "This coffin is sick. Let's go... like, right now. I can't STAND to see that disgusting thing in here. Unless," she added quickly, "it's for some crazy underground ritual thingy?"  
  
"It's NOT for some ritual, it's okay," Erik muttered. "I don't want a bed."  
  
"Of COURSE you do, you weirdo, we're going right now." Christine pulled on Erik's arm, but he resisted.  
  
"Where do you think you're going!?" Erik objected, pulling his arm away.  
  
"Duh," Christine rolled her eyes as if it were obvious. "To the store? We've been cooped up here for ages, I want to go outside!"  
  
"I don't," Erik grumbled.  
  
"Why not?" Christine asked impatiently.  
  
"I've told you a million times, people don't like me around," Erik said lowly.  
  
"I like you around," Christine answered happily, tugging on his arm again, "Let's GO..."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then take off that stupid mask."  
  
"Are you crazy!? No."  
  
"I'm not going out in public with you looking ridiculous!" Christine raged, huffily.  
  
"I'm not taking it off!" Erik shouted.  
  
"What's your reason!?" Christine shouted back.  
  
"Are you blind!!?" Erik exploded. Christine hushed up. "Look at me!" He cried, pulling his mask off. Christine saw the face of a really hot guy. "I am NOT normal, NOR cute, or whatever else you say I am! I don't know what kind of sick joke you're trying to play, or why you're not the least bit scared of me, but I've had enough!" Erik took a deep breath and began to storm out of the room. Christine held onto his sleeve.  
  
"Erik!" She said meekly, "You could have just told me you don't like shopping..."  
  
Erik shook his head and snorted, "I can't BELIEVE you," he growled, pulling out of Christine's grasp and leaving across the hall to the other room, slamming the door behind him. Christine just stared, wide eyed, slowly trudging back to the room which Erik had given her during her stay in the cellars.  
  
Suddenly, there was a peace-shattering crash against the front door and a yelp of pain which sounded oddly like...  
  
"Raoul?" Christine hurried out of her room and opened the front door, Raoul falling inside the house. "What were you doing!? What ARE you doing HERE!?" Christine cried in surprise.  
  
"I," Raoul said, his eyes rolling about madly, "am banging my head against the door like an idiot."  
  
"I know," Christine said unenthusiastically.  
  
"Woooohooooo!" Raoul yelled, suddenly jumping up and bouncing around the room like a crazy person. "Look at me, fellowess, look at me NOW!" He hopped up and down like a kangaroo, then rolled around on the floor. "You want to see my possessed act?" He offered.  
  
"No tha-"  
  
"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!" Raoul bellowed on the floor, flopping around as if he were having a seizure, "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"No! Stop! What do you think you're doing?" Christine protested, but she was no match against the man's ear-piercing screams.  
  
Erik came tumbling out of his room, hurrying to see what the commotion was, and saw Raoul on the floor.  
  
"What is THIS!!!?" He yelled, pointing at Raoul, who was now giggling hysterically.  
  
"Got your nose!" Raoul said excitedly, grabbing Christine.  
  
"Get AWAY!" Christine cried, pulling her dress out of Raoul's reach and kicking him in the face.  
  
"WHO is THIS?" Erik asked loudly.  
  
"Hi, I'm Gumbi," Raoul said, picking himself off the floor and standing with his hand on his head like an army man, facing Erik.  
  
"No, no, Erik," Christine said quickly, "Raoul.. his name is Raoul - but there's something wrong with him..."  
  
"Definitely," Erik muttered as Raoul rolled his neck around on his shoulders. "But how do you know him?"  
  
"He's my boyfriend," Christine said with shame, "But he's not himself! He's NEVER acted like this before! Raoul!!!"  
  
"Whaaaat?" Raoul asked, lolling his head towards Christine.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Christine asked.  
  
"Me? I'm eccentric! You want to hear my happy song?" Raoul took a deep breath as Christine groaned. "Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy!!!!!!!" Raoul screeched.  
  
Erik stuffed his fingers in his ears. "The horror..." he whispered weakly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Erik," Christine muttered, wincing as Raoul hit a really bad note, "I didn't think he even KNEW where this was! I..."  
  
"I better be off, then!" Raoul interrupted cheerfully. "How about a swim?" He suggested, bursting out the door and taking off across the lake.  
  
There was an odd silence.  
  
"Ummm.." Christine laughed nervously. Erik blinked.  
  
"That was very... out of nowhere..." Erik trailed off. There was another embarrassing pause. "Christine.."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm.... sorry for acting the way I did," Erik murmured sheepishly. "I was rude, and... you were only being polite..."  
  
"It's okay," Christine said with a wave of her hand, "Don't sweat it."  
  
There was another pause.  
  
"So... you have a boyfriend?" Erik asked slowly.  
  
"Raoul... he's usually quite the gentleman, I don't know what happened to him..." Christine shook her head. "Maybe he's on something."  
  
"Yes, that must be it," Erik replied happily. "You still want to go shopping?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
  
  
A/N: Thaaaaat's all for now! More is to come! Thank YOU for waiting. :) 


	7. The Sleazy Salesman

"So, you lookin' for a bed, eh? We've got the best, I'll tell you THAT," a sleazy salesman said jauntily, pulling at his suspenders.  
  
Erik and Christine were at the biggest bed shop they had ever seen in their entire lives... How could anyone possibly think there were that many different beds to chose from? They had been shopping around for hours, and finally they found this place down the street. There were so many different styles, sizes, colors and shapes, you could not believe.  
  
"Well, we've got everything," the salesman continued like a train. "If we don't have what you want, you're not what WE want. That's our motto." Christine and Erik gave the man strange glances.  
  
"Um.." Christine cleared her throat. 'We were looking for the kind of bed that's... you know... square...?"  
  
"And normal," Erik added quickly. "With... pillows and blankets..."  
  
"Oh, you don't want THAT old kind of bed!" The salesman waved his hand like the two were ridiculous, twirling his greasy mustache. Then he let out a giant guffaw that scared the bejesus out of the both of them. "I think the bed that's more you is THAT one." The man pointed at a special sale bed. It was round and was covered in black silk sheets. "The Goth look is in, you know?"  
  
Erik's eyes glowed. "We'll take that one," he gushed.  
  
"Erik! You don't want that ugly bed!" Christine said, crinkling her nose.  
  
"Well, missy, just sit down on it and you won't be able to stand back up! It's made with the softest silks, and the mattress is downy. Goose. Very fine." Christine didn't move. "Sit down, sit down," the man urged, taking Christine by the hand and leading her to the bed. She gave Erik a pleading look before sitting down on it.  
  
"You could just fall right to sleep on this thing," the salesman said, shaking his head dreamily.  
  
"You could not," Christine objected, "This mattress is hard-"  
  
Right then, the salesman pushed a button from underneath the bed, making sleep gas pour out right where Christine was sitting. She dozed off instantly.  
  
"You see?" The salesman said triumphantly, "Right to sleep! Like a baby! Yeah!"  
  
"How much is it?" Erik asked excitedly.  
  
"Special deal! $701.95 for the whole set! Comforter, pillows, sheets, mattress and frame for the lot!" The salesman said proudly.  
  
"How much are dollars?" Erik asked.  
  
"Oh! Sorry! I was an American salesman! Did my successful business in New York before learning French and coming here! Paris is a fine town! The cost would be 4225.21 francs, please."  
  
"Four thousand...!!" Erik trailed off in disbelief. "Are beds usually this expensive!?"  
  
"This is the cheapest bed I've ever sold," the man lied sincerely. "What a deal," he murmured breathlessly.  
  
"Wow, then I'll take it!" Erik shouted happily, counting out a huge wad of franc notes and stuffing them into the salesman's waiting hand. "Keep the change."  
  
"It's a pleasure doing business with you!" The salesman said genuinely, shaking Erik's hand roughly. "Have a good day!"  
  
Erik ran over to Christine and tried to wake her up. "Christine! Christine! I bought the bed!" Christine just snored and rolled over.  
  
"I duwanna wake up," Christine murmured in her sleep.  
  
"Ah," the salesman said proudly, "If only we could take a picture of the lovely lady sleeping! She could be a great advertisement, you might want to tell her that."  
  
"I'll be sure to..." Erik muttered sarcastically, poking Christine lightly.  
  
"It's so nice to see a father and daughter shopping on a nice afternoon like today," the salesman rattled on.  
  
"What?" Erik looked at him.  
  
"You ARE her father... right?" The man asked.  
  
"I very well am NOT!" Erik spluttered.  
  
"Excuse me," the salesman grumbled, "Grandfather then."  
  
"Ahhhhh!" Erik shouted, covering his ears, "Stop, stop! I don't look THAT old, do I!?"  
  
"Ah, you MAY.. but might I suggest some Rogaine?" The salesman asked.  
  
"What?" Erik asked piercingly.  
  
"Rogaine! Grows your hair back! Makes you look healthy and young again! I am also a hair product salesman, did you know? I also sell Yaffa, but that's a different story. Would you like some?" The man produced a bottle of Rogaine even faster than Erik could catch.  
  
"Well, if I look that old to you.." Erik trailed off. "How much is it?"  
  
"Best deal in the house!" The man swelled, "$12.90! I mean... 78 francs!"  
  
"By God, how expensive ARE modern technological things!?" Erik burst.  
  
"It's cheap, compared to last years price on it! 108 francs! Now it's a steal!" The salesman said.  
  
"I'll take it too, then," Erik said, handing the man more money. He stuffed the Rogaine in his cloak.  
  
"Would you like us to ship the bed? We've got modern day semi's. They can take the whole bed without breaking it apart. They'll ship it right to your front door," the man continued.  
  
"No thanks," Erik said, shaking his head. "I've got a carriage, I'm sure it'll fit on top if we strap it on."  
  
"We've got bungee cords! Stretch and hold everything in place! 50 francs a piece! 159 for three! Another steal!"  
  
Erik counted on his fingers. "Uh.. I'll take four separately, thank you."  
  
"That comes out to 200 francs! Oops.. I forgot tax... 250 francs!" The man said. Erik handed over the money.  
  
"A pleasure doing business with you again, monsieur!" The salesman shouted. "Come again!"  
  
Erik tried to wake Christine again, but she wouldn't budge. So he dragged the bed out of the store and set Christine in the carriage. She stirred and shook her head.  
  
"Erik?" She asked. He turned to her. "What are we doing?"  
  
"I just bought the bed," Erik told her, trying to heave it on his shoulders to shove it on top of the carriage. "I just hope the roof holds this thing..."  
  
"I'm sure it will," Christine muttered before drifting back to sleep.  
  
"Aaaargh!" Erik grunted, pushing the bed.  
  
"Would you need any help, monsieur?" The driver asked from the front of the carriage.  
  
"Nooo," Erik grunted, straining. He finally got the bed to rest on the roof, strapping it down with the new bungee cords. "There!" Erik cried merrily, "Good to go!" He hoped into the carriage, and they took off back to the opera house.  
  
"Ummm.." Erik said to the driver, turning red, "Would you mind stopping a few blocks before the opera house? We live right around there."  
  
"Sure pops," the driver replied casually. Erik lunged for his neck.  
  
The horses veer sharply to the left, then the right as the driver let go of the reins. The horses finally stopped, but the men didn't. The bed fell off the roof, and a moment later, Erik and the driver tumbled onto the pavement, fighting as men do.  
  
And Christine slept on.  
  
  
  
A/N: YAY! Next chapter will come SOOOON! :) 


	8. Erik's First Kiss

"Christine? Crazy, little mouse? Where is everybody?" Raoul scanned the edge of the lake underneath the opera house. After following Benny down there, there was nobody to be seen. No Erik, no Christine, and no Benny. Very odd...  
  
Raoul was out of breath from running all the way from Christine's house to the fifth cellar, and had to stop to catch his breath before wondering anymore. "Hallo?" Suddenly, he bumped into something...  
  
"Ahhhh!!"  
  
"Ahhhhh!!!"  
  
"AHHHHH!!!!"  
  
"Who're you!!!?"  
  
"Who're y- RAOUL!?"  
  
"WHO!?"  
  
"AHHHH!!!"  
  
"QUIET!"  
  
There was silence as Erik hollered, and he, Christine and Raoul stared at each other. Christine and Erik were carrying a really heavy bed which they had to haul two blocks, and all three of them gaped in genuine shock.  
  
"Hey, isn't that the spaz?" Erik wondered, pointed to Raoul.  
  
"Yes, dear, that is," Christine replied giggled nervously, dropping her side of the bed, making Erik collapse to the ground. She seized Raoul by the arm and pulled him to a corner, muttering under her breath, "What are you doing here, you're embarrassing me!"  
  
"Help..." Erik said, his voice muffled from underneath the bed.  
  
"What has he got there?" Raoul wondered.  
  
"It's a bed. He went out and bought it. I didn't pick it out," Christine grumbled, rolling her eyes.  
  
"A little help..."  
  
"So you ignored our appointment for tea, to go buy a bed for a guy in a mask who calls me a spaz and lives under this opera house?" Raoul wondered, gasping for breath after he had said all that.  
  
"Uh... yeah... um, Raoul? About the spaz thing.. you WERE acting a bit weird a little while ago," Christine said under her breath. "Now why don't you leave? I'm about to make my move on this really cute guy."  
  
"WHAT!?" Raoul burst, jumping almost five feet in the air.  
  
"Yeah," Christine said dreamily, noting that Raoul might be able to be in the Olympics if he could jump that high all the time.  
  
"What about me?" Raoul asked tearfully, his lower lip puckering.  
  
"What ABOUT you?" Christine asked. Then it hit her. "Oh yeah! I'm going out with you! Right! Now that IS a problem..." She turned to Erik, who was gurgling under the bed. "Erik!" She shouted, pulling the heavy thing off of him.  
  
Stunned, Erik stared up at Christine, who slapped him hard before he leapt up and shouted, "I want my money back!"  
  
"Why, dear?" Christine asked.  
  
"It's got SPIKES underneath it!" Then he paused. "This - bed - is - GREAT!"  
  
"Christine..." Raoul whined, "I was NOT being crazy!"  
  
"Yes you were, now quit being silly," Christine giggled.  
  
"I was not! It was that little mouse!" Raoul cried. Erik burst out laughing.  
  
"There wasn't a mouse here, only you," Christine said, staring at Raoul as if he were completely nuts.  
  
"No, I swear! There was a mouse! He talked! And when I picked him up and scratched him behind the ears, he turned into me! And he said he'd turn into me for 24 hours!" Raoul shouted.  
  
Christine and Erik stared.  
  
"Really!" Raoul added.  
  
"I think you've had a little too much to drink," Christine decided.  
  
"But I DON'T drink!" Raoul protested.  
  
"Nonsense," Christine answered.  
  
"It was a mouse!" Raoul said, "Don't you believe me?"  
  
"Uh.. no," Christine grumbled. "Now, Raoul... you must leave now. I can't have you here. We'll meet each other in a couple of days, okay? We'll chat."  
  
"But you're falling in love with THIS guy!" Raoul yelled, jabbing a thumb in Erik's direction. "How can I trust you'll still love ME?"  
  
"You can't," Christine said sweetly, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully. "Bye, love."  
  
"Good-bye," Raoul muttered, stalking off. Erik and Christine watched him leave, and when the door closed, Erik turned to the pretty little girl beside him.  
  
"You've got an odd boyfriend, that one," Erik said, nodding towards the door Raoul left through.  
  
"He IS acting very weird today," Christine said puzzled, biting her nail.  
  
"Was he right, though?" Erik asked.  
  
"Right about what?" Christine wondered, turning towards the phantom.  
  
"Right about you... you know... falling in love with me..." he trailed off.  
  
"Duh," Christine said as if it were obvious, "You're the perfect guy. The one everyone wants, but that's only in story books. You sure are one of a kind, monsieur."  
  
Erik was blown back. "Yeah RIGHT," he smirked.  
  
"Yes, really!" Christine's eyes went bright. "Will you kiss me?"  
  
"WHAT!?" Erik cried, almost fainting.  
  
"Will you kiss me? Please? I need to know what it feels like to kiss someone other than a fop."  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"I need to know what it feels like to kiss someone other than Raoul.  
  
"You... you NEED to?" Erik stuttered, smiling weakly.  
  
"Don't you want to kiss me?" Christine asked, pouting.  
  
"Of course!!" Erik yelled, almost too passionately.  
  
"Really?" Christine perked up. Nothing happened. "Well?" Christine motioned for Erik to step up to her.  
  
"What.. you want ME to come up to YOU?" Erik asked nervously.  
  
"Yes, silly, that's how you kiss someone," Christine smiled sympathetically. "Have you... ever kissed someone before?"  
  
"Never," Erik whispered, shaking his head.  
  
"Oh, let me show you how it's done. Now if you're a first timer, I suggest you come up to me anyway. That way, you can take your time," Christine said with wisdom.  
  
"How many times have YOU done this?" Erik asked.  
  
"Oh, countless times," Christine said with a wave of her hand. "Now don't be afraid, c'mere."  
  
Erik took a step. And another. He was standing right in front of Christine staring down at her, his heart beating a thousand times a second.  
  
"Now you must just lean down and do it," Christine giggled, "or I'll get impatient."  
  
"Sorry," Erik gasped, not doing a thing. Christine looked up at him with innocent eyes.  
  
"Well..?" She smiled softly. Erik bent, but Christine stopped him. "What, are you crazy?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You can't kiss someone with a mask on!" Christine threw it off and sighed. "Better. Continue."  
  
Erik leaned forward and brushed his lips against Christine's. He pulled back sharply, staring in shock at Christine for what he had just done.  
  
She smiled and said, "You can't tell a good kiss like THAT!" Christine curled her arms around Erik's neck and pulled herself closer to him, tipping up her head and giving Erik a nice long smooch.  
  
Ooh, that was something for Erik.. he felt a tinglyness overcome him that he just could not explain, but it took the breath away from him... and he LIKED it! When they drew away, they were BOTH satisfied.  
  
"Wow.." they said together, staring dreamily at each other.  
  
"Let's do that again," Christine offered quickly.  
  
"Yes, let's..."  
  
  
  
A/N: End of chapter eight! That was a fun chapter, I admit it. Fun, fun, fun! ENJOY!!! :) 


	9. Shallow Christine, Read a Magazine?

"Something really strange is going on here," Raoul said to himself as he was making his way home from the Opera Garnier, looking as the defeated loser might. "And it probably has something to do with those-"  
  
Suddenly, the impostor Raoul whipped around the corner with a huge stack of cheese in his hands and hit the real one with a satisfying BAM! Cheese flew everywhere.  
  
"-mice!" Raoul shouted, pointing at Benny. And on a second thought, he said, "Quite good-looking, I might add..."  
  
Benny looked stunned for a second, gathered up his treasure in a panic, and bolted.  
  
"Come back here!" Raoul shouted, making quite a scene as he tackled Benny to the ground, spilling cheese all over the place again.  
  
Benny bit Raoul, and made an effort to stuff all the cheese into his mouth. "Stupid human body!" Benny said with Raoul's voice. "No cheek pockets!"  
  
"Of course not!" Raoul said. "Now quit being me!"  
  
"Talk about your crazy twins," a passerby muttered to his partner as they turned the corner.  
  
"Never!" Benny squealed, smearing a hunk of emmenthal on Raoul's coat.  
  
"My dinner jacket!" Raoul boomed in rage. "This was so expensive!" While Raoul was distracted, Benny leapt up and tried to run, but Raoul grabbed his ankle. "Oh no you don't!"  
  
Benny tripped and splayed out on the ground.  
  
"You're not leaving until I get some answers!" Raoul shouted, giving a war cry and throwing himself on top of Benny in a wrestling stance.  
  
"Ouch! All right!" the impostor squeaked. "But at your place!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you have more cheese! Just, in mouse form, I couldn't reach the cupboard," Benny explained.  
  
"Fine, just as long as we get to the bottom of this," Raoul growled.  
  
Benny kicked Raoul off of him and stood up, brushing himself off. "Come on," he said.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I don't need to be told to come; YOU'RE the only animal around here," Raoul shot.  
  
Benny rolled his eyes and started walking in the direction of Raoul's house. "Yes," he said to himself sneakily. "And you'll be experiencing what real animals can do... MUAHAHAHAHAHA-"  
  
"Why are you laughing like that?" Raoul asked, following along curiously.  
  
"Oh," Benny replied slyly, "no reason... MUAHAHAHA-"  
  
"Well, stop it, you're attracting attention!" Raoul muttered as the pair turned onto his street. "Besides, as a respectable member of society, evil laughter is- hey! You're laughing evilly! As if you have something evil planned!"  
  
"I DO!" Benny shouted in triumph, and dragged Raoul the rest of the way to his house.  
  
"Ow, ow! Help!" Raoul shrieked to his neighbors. "The impostor is a mouse! A MOUUUUSE!" The door slammed behind them.  
  
A child stared; jump rope forgotten. "Mousie?" she wondered aloud.  
  
Inside Raoul's house, Benny shoved the real him up the stairs.  
  
"You tricked me!" Raoul shouted.  
  
"Of course I did," Benny replied. "I can't just let you go ruin a perfectly good relationship!"  
  
"Me and Christine had a perfectly good relationship!" Raoul said.  
  
"Bah!" Benny answered, giving Raoul a final push into his bedroom. "Piper! Commence emergency procedures!"  
  
"Emergency procedures! Emergency procedures!" Piper said importantly, pulling a lever under the fop's bed.  
  
"Hey!" Raoul protested as a giant mechanical mouse wheeled it's way out of the shadows and hugged him. "Get it off!"  
  
"Ha ha!" Benny and Piper laughed together.  
  
"You'll be safe like this," Benny confirmed, nodding once. "I must be going... Have to wreck more havoc... Oh, and Raoul; if the police come by to arrest you, it's no biggy. I just stole a bunch of cheese; that can't be too much jail time."  
  
"Hey!" Raoul objected. Benny started to leave, but before he could get out of the bedroom, he was engulfed in a cloud of purple smoke, and with a small 'pop!' he was a mouse again.  
  
"Crap!" Benny said, snapping his claws. "Twenty-four hours is up!"  
  
"Ha!" Raoul said triumphantly. "Now you can't eat the cheese in the cupboard."  
  
"Fool!" Benny said, rolling his eyes. "I already HAVE eaten that cheese! I was just telling you that as an excuse to get you here."  
  
"Oh. Darn," Raoul said, snapping his fingers much like Benny snapped his claws.  
  
Meanwhile... back at the Opera Garnier...  
  
"Squeeeeeeeeeee!" George cried as his wings disappeared. He fell fifty feet into the underground lake with a small splash.  
  
Christine and Erik pulled away from making out with each other momentarily to glance at the lake strangely. Both shrugged and continued their thing.  
  
Back at Raoul's house...  
  
"But I don't understand," Raoul said. "What's going on here?"  
  
"Look, fop," Benny grunted. "We've helped Christine to see the inner beauty of people to make her life better. Anything wrong with that?"  
  
"Yeah, there is something wrong with that," Raoul replied. "Christine has fallen in love with a crazy man who lives underground!"  
  
"That's the way it's meant to be," Benny said smugly, crossing his paws and ruffling his whiskers at Raoul.  
  
"Do you ruffle your whiskers at me?" Raoul asked dangerously.  
  
"So what if I do?" Benny retorted.  
  
"Ak! Just - nevermind!" Raoul said, rolling his eyes. "I just want my girlfriend back!"  
  
"She would come back if she really loved you," Benny said simply.  
  
"But you've played with her mind," Raoul protested. "How can she really love someone if all she sees is something that's not real?"  
  
"It is real," Benny explained. "It's what is on the inside..."  
  
"Inside, schmimside," Raoul mimicked. "If you take the spell off her , THEN we'll see who she TRULY loves."  
  
"Hey, he's right!" Piper agreed.  
  
"Shut up!" Benny shouted. Then he gasped and covered his mouth. "Sorry, boss... Guess I got a lil' carried away, huh? Heh heh..."  
  
"Benny, you little rodent," Piper squeaked, bopping him on the head. He turned to Raoul. "Now, uh... What was your name again? Fop?"  
  
"Raoul!" Raoul said, hurt.  
  
"Quite, quite," Piper muttered. "Yes, well; I know a way to unbreak the spell I cast upon Christine..."  
  
"DON'T DO IT!" Benny pleaded, rolling around on the floor in protest.  
  
"You have to say to her-"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO-"  
  
"You have to say-"  
  
"-OOOOOOOOOOO-"  
  
"SHUT UP, BENNY!" Piper shouted, stuffing a sock down Benny's throat.  
  
"Shut up, Benny? Is that what I have to say?" Raoul asked.  
  
"No, no!" Piper spat, shaking his little head. "You have to say-"  
  
"Mmmmmfrrrrmmm!" Benny cried.  
  
"-Shallow Christine, read a magazine!"  
  
"Shallow Christine, read a magazine?" Raoul repeated. "But... why? That... That doesn't even make sense! And what's a magazine?"  
  
"Just... I couldn't find anything that rhymed with Christine, okay? But that's what you have to say to her to snap her out of it!" Piper said. Benny lay sprawled on the floor.  
  
"Mrrrrrfffmmrrrmmmm!" Benny said. he took the sock out of his mouth. "How could you dooooo this, Piper?"  
  
"It's the only way to see if she really loves Erik!" Piper assured him.  
  
"So will you let me go?" Raoul asked hopefully.  
  
"Ha! Yeah right!" Piper hooted. He and Benny slapped a high four.  
  
"Right on, boss!" Benny cried.  
  
"Ha ha ha!" Piper cheered.  
  
"Arrrgh!" Raoul growled. But the mechanical mouse was too fuzzy to really protest much, and it was getting very cozy in it's clutches... "I think I'll just take a little nap..." Raoul yawned. He was asleep immediately.  
  
"So, Piper, are you coming back to the opera house with me?" Benny asked.  
  
"Of course!" Piper grinned. "I wouldn't want to miss out this time! Besides, isn't George still there?"  
  
"Yeah, let's go find him!" Benny crowed. And both mice scampered off, shutting the door behind them.  
  
The neighbor girl watched as two mice scurried out of Raoul's house. "Mousies?" she wondered aloud again. She blinked. She shrugged. She picked up her jump rope again.  
  
A/N: Long awaited? LOL... Wow, I haven't updated this in SO LONG! Hope you enjoyed! 


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